Are there two Oakmonts?
Is there an Oakmont West and an Oakmont East? Geographically the community looks as one Village; houses running in a straight or curved line, leading up and down little hills, tied together in a similar architectural style, broken up with green bands that are our two 18 hole golf courses.
The image is one of quiet and peaceful unity. Around 3,200 homes inhabited by not quite 4,800 retirees, who spend their days together, participating in the activities of some 130 clubs and organizations.
Is this pastoral picture evocative of a communal spirit, which shows none of the competitive and restless nuances of a former work day, replete with commutes and work filled hours? Freedom and independence to do as one pleases, the forming of new friendships and the quiet contentment in enjoying the beautiful surroundings?
The newcomer who has chosen our community for these attributes sooner or later learns to her or his dismay that there exists a darker current marring this perceived perfection – a substrata in our collective weave that speaks of discontent and grievances; a civil unhappiness in how and by whom the village is governed, and neighbors they do not agree with.
While upheaval in connection with certain board decisions has occurred before, the current strife had its origin three years ago with the advent of the pickle ball project. With a conclusion finally in sight, a general relaxation should prevail; unfortunately, that is not the case. The atmosphere remains tense, and it is nowhere more pronounced than in the pages of the social media. Indeed, social media exemplifies the division in Oakmont.
The two communications platforms have been arbitrarily assigned two groups who perceive themselves as different from one another; in other words, the virtual reality of us versus them. And who are they and who are we? One website refuses to print anything remotely critical of the village governance; the second invites a freewheeling conversation, which does invite both for and against opinions.
One could argue that the social media are not important, but that assessment runs counter to all research, which shows that they have become the new town square, replacement of letters to the editor and verbal communication; in other words, a most vital medium for people to voice their opinions, both positive and negative.
Does this creative taking sides promote a systemic division in our community? Perhaps no more than there always was, but the daily postings of arguments and counter arguments bring the differences to the surface for all to see. And the unfavorable feeling is created: If you don’t agree with me, you, therefore, belong to the other side.
And so the separation becomes hardened, which over time affects the harmony and tranquility of a people. We need only look to the national scene to understand the local sentiments. How then can we bridge the chasm of thoughts and ideas? Perhaps, by being more generous in our attitudes towards our neighbors, accepting the fact that we alone are not always right. This approach to meaningful conversation may lead to points of agreements, hitherto not thought of.
Yvonne you make some good points however differing politics and viewpoints have always existed here. We have had disagreements between Republicans and Democrats for years in the Oakmont community. What is different with the divisions we are now experiencing over the many current issues impacting our residents and potential HOA dues?
I often hear it’s the young group or newcomers against the older folks who have lived here a long time. I disagree. I am a newbie and I often find myself on the side of the oldies. We need to stop labeling our members’ positions by generations. We need to listen to individuals before judging. We are all Oakmonters who moved here to enjoy our senior years. Let’s try to find our commonality instead of focusing on our differences.
I think our current community climate is due in part to the behavior that was “allowed” to occur by our community members during the pickleball phase. There were many examples of poor behavior left unchecked. I think that phase in our history frightened some of our members, disgusted others, and created a lot of distrust.
Usually society uses values, norms, laws, enforcement and peer pressure to keep discord from getting out of hand. Who stood up against the bullies who surfaced during the pickleball phase? Why was the severed rat perpetrator never found? Freedom of speech does not mean you have the right to take other community members rights away. Freedom of speech does not mean you can act uncivilized toward others.
Why do we allow members to publicly and personally insult our members and leaders? How did our community, made up of the oldies and the newbies, let things get out of hand and allow this poor behavior? This bullying did not occur only on social media, but in BOD meetings and at our facilities and in our written and printed communications and continues today.
Moving forward we need our community members to stand up against the bullying or uncivil behavior when disagreements occur. We know how to have healthy debates. We know how to present our viewpoints in a dignified manner. We know how to listen objectively. It takes a village! It takes a civilized society to prosper. Disagreements will always exist but it is the civilized manner that is used to move through disagreements that will rebuild our community.
Yvonne, on another topic altogether, I also need to point out I disagree with your use of the words “ broken up by green bands that are our two golf courses”. The Oakmont community does not own the two golf courses. They are not ours. That is a subject for another day!
Lisa…….UMM, UMM good, so thoughtful and presented with civility.
Thank you Lisa, for giving us an example of how comments and ideas can be effectively communicated and remain civil as well.
YF’s mis-factual statement indicating that OGC is part of the Oakmont community (i.e., “…OUR (my caps) two 18 hole golf courses”) should be viewed in the light of disclosure that YF resides in a house located on one of the two OGC commercial golf courses.
Is there an Oakmont West and a Oakmont East? Geographically the community looks as one Village; houses running in a straight or curved line, leading up and down little hills, tied together in a similar architectural style, broken up with green bands that are our two 18 hole golf courses.
Our two 18 hole golf courses: OUR is to be read as a literary device, regardless of whether I live on the east course or not. I do! Not wishing to enter into a conversation how the OGC problem could be solved, the golf courses are an integral part of the Oakmont landscape.